Happy Birthday Sarah

 12 weeks old and looking worried

Sarah at 10 months, you walked a month after this was taken.. Want to say something about the tongue, but I won't.

Your first birthday

18 months old here with Caleb, and Peter Puppy

2 years old Aunt Christine's wedding - hope you don't do what you did at this wedding when it is your turn.. scream and run crying down the aisle..

Growing up... 11 or 12

Christmas - it was freezing so we lit the fire and you made a nest

things that make you go hmmmm

A very spacial photo with Nana

Beautiful..inside and out.
29 today

Happy Birthday to my daughter... a gorgeous, talented, wise and beautifully spirited woman. Who has the ability to make me stand in awe sometimes at the wisdom she shows beyond her years... who makes me laugh, who encourages me to laugh at myself, who shows kindness and respect to all she meets.. May you be blessed Sarah every day of your life.

A Heart Beat

Have you ever been torn whether to post something or not? I have had this feeling this week. I doubt there is anyone who has not heard about the devastating effects of the earthquake in New Zealand. I turned on the tv when I first heard, it was not until I seen the first image of Christchurch cahtederal that I really understood what had happened, I sat shocked and shaken at the mess that was once a city I roamed, at the beautiful cathedral whose shadow I sat in on many a warm Christchurch afternoons while listening to "The Wizard" . I am like many others having trouble getting my head around the fact that that so much gone now.

We have family still in Christchurch, so far we have had news of one, the others we are sure are fine even though we have heard no news.. watching the news reports are hard, while Australia is now home, New Zealand is the country of my birth and I find the constant replaying of the same thing, upsetting especially with some of the reporting that goes with it...
My heart is with each person there, those hurting, those searching and those missing.. and with my family still back there... and as my daughter said on facebook.. I am blessed to have my family,  a roof over my head, food on the tabl, I may not have all I want but I do have what I need - let these things not be taken for granted, for in a heart beat they can all be taken away.

Welcoming Abigal to the family

On Sunday, we all went to the local Craft Market here at Mornington..I was queit excited because it had been the first time I seen Rod and his wife from Wee Folk Garden Art .since we arrived back in Victoria. I have a number of there sculptures and was keen to get a couple more..
Since the very first time I came to Australia 10 years ago, I have had an attraction to the Native gum trees, as a pagan woman I am very drawn to them.. I have flowering gums tattooed around my wrist and when I was hand fasted part of the circle was created with gum nuts..

so it is no surprise really that I was drawn to Abigal.. a perfect wee fairy taking a nap in a flowering gum nut...While she is an outside sculpture, she never made it that far and is happily snoozing by the door in our family room.

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Isn't she beautiful.. I did make another purchase however I think that is worthy of a post of it;s own.

Half Century

I went to bed 49 and woke this morning to the wonderful 50. I re read yesterdays post.. and one thing I thoughtlessly omitted.. should have been the first thing added.. to spite feeling like I am struggling  to bloom where planted, presently .. I am thankful and blessed  for a husband who loves and adores me, for children who love me, I thank the Goddess for having them in my life.. good times and not so good.I am thankful for an empathetic heart and compassionate spirit, and for the ability to look back over the last 50 years and smile, cringe, laugh or frown over achievements completed or opportunities lost.. 

I want today to be the milestone where I know feel I can do anything... (will keep up updated on that) :-)

And bless the child who said to me this morning.. "good luck and enjoy your next half century"

 “The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.”

Mohammed Alli 

Cookies, Life and 50

Over the last week or so, I have not been feeling physically, spiritually or emotionally up to par...
Tonight I will be going to bed 49 and tomorrow I will wake up 50 years old. For me that thought has never, ever been a bad thing, I have not thought of it, screeched with horror and pre-booked Botox and a bottle of formaldyhde at the local museum.
I have for many many years, looked forward to turning 50. I have lived a very interesting and somewhat colourful life, including at times a reckless youth. To me personally, 50 is a bit of a milestone.,  the start of a time in my life where,  I could look back on my life and go yes, I did this thing, or that. A time where I could look at my achievements, mistakes and regrets and accept them for what they were, and use those experiences to build upon them emotionally and spiritually, and a time also to relax more as my children are now independent adults (28 and 29) -
This time of my life is where I thought I could start to focus a little more on me, and what I want to do with the last 30 years or so of my life, I had been excited about approaching this time in my life, yet tonight I am sitting here feeling like I have been for the last month ... feeling a little ripped of, as harsh as that sounds.  And yes,  then feeling guilty because I feel like this.
Perhaps I am having a wee pity party, because I am not getting what I think I want or need, nor do I know how to get what I think I want or need at the moment.. I had my children by choice in my early 20's so by this time of my life I would have my "independence" so to speak, then one morning  2 years ago I became step mother to, two emotionally challenged children aged then 10 and 13, with no idea it was going to happen. I willingly gave these children what I could and what they needed,  not because I had to but because I really wanted to, perhaps selfishly now I feel like at times I have been pushing poo up hill with a big pointy stick. I think perhaps if these young ones had come to us before some of the negative behaviors and character traits had developed things could feel a little different in our home at times. Don't get me wrong, I love these kids and I will keep on doing what I have been doing.
I had also planned to arrange a "coming of age ceremony" with someone in WA.. then we moved here, where I know no one to help with this... I could write a wee ceremony for myself, but to be honest, I feel that side of me is in some sort of weird hiatus, covered in the dross of everyday stuff.  I have recently registered my own business, something I have been wanting to do for a few years, now I wake up in the morning thingking "what the hell stupid thing have you done"  Life has been a real challenge since we got here, I have been trying to get a rhythm back but it has been lacking, the simplest thing seems bigger than Ben Hurr, I am tired and emotionally drained lately.. I know this post has come out as a bit of a whining session,  may it is, may it isn't.. but I thought I would feel different than I do tonight. Tomorrow will come, one way or another as will 50 - perhaps I will be able to work through all off this and I will look back on this post and have a good old giggle.

Sarah my oldest child, said something to me today, that was very special..She said one day, the younger kids will realize, what they have here is something pretty special.. she likened it to the cookies I was baking..
"Homemade cookies in the cookie jar are priceless..you can't buy that love. You can not pay someone to come along and bake a batch of cookies like that.."

A soggy weekend

Seems lately my posts have been weather oriented, not to surprising when this is whats happening in the area.. it started to rain on Friday afternoon... and then it rained some more.. did I mention it rained.. oh and my silly garage flooded yet again... still it is pittance compared to some homes 20 to 30km away in Cranbourne.

My Toy Boy

My husband and I woke this morning at 5.50am, I rolled over to have a cuddle before he left, and just before I could wish him a happy birthday, he said, "hey, I am only 2 years younger than you now.."  it made me smile, my toy boy. I am no cougar (thank the goddess haha) but he always makes me feel like a million dollars, when I have potting mix on my shirt, or I'm buried under a pile of ironing and even when he comes home, gives me a hug and says  "you been baking - smell like cookies yum"
This man has sat beside my hospital bed for so many hours while I was unconscious and I so sick after surgery... he has held my hand when I was scared, he has laughed till tears rolled down his face, when I have had a silly moment with him or the kids

.. he has encouraged me and believed in me, when I didn't or couldn't believe in myself., he is my best friend, my constant when the world hits me a curved ball.. every year he gets better with age... I can not imagine one minute of one day without him in my life and he is truley the Knight of my heart,, Happy Birthday...

P/s -  He also points out my typos,...  got to love that in a bloke, right

A Little Helpless

As many of us either celebrate Lammas or Imbolc, my focus and heart is drawn to the horror that is again in the process off unfolding in Queensland here in Australia. We have friends and colleagues based at Cairns Navy Base - HMAS Cairns - I have fear for their well being as I do for every other person in this cyclones path. It is the second disaster to hit this state in less than a month and it leaves me feeling helpless to watch it unfold. It is my hope that this may via off or loose momentum as they sometimes do.
To those of you who read my blog, I ask that you lift up these folk either in prayer or positive thought, that they may be safe against  the odds.