Shifting Seasons

I am still adjusting to life in the suburbs again, after living the last three years in semi rural Victoria.. where the only light that came in to our bedroom through the window was either the wonderful illuminating light of the full Moon or the golden rays of Dawn creeping in. Here though in addition is street lighting and on occasion the neighbours security lights or porch lights.. as well as the distant traffic noise from the main highway. I am learning to mentally lock them out... I often lay and watch the sunrise through a gap in the blind.. how it spreads golden across the sky and then sneaks in and across our bedroom wall...
However, this morning I was snuggled up to my man and I said to him, it's getting darker in the mornings isn't it.. and he agreed it was, and also last night was the first night we slept with more over us than a sheet... it is a few days left of the month and thus summer is coming to an end and autumn will be here. Bringing with it the days shorter and nights growing longer.
I do not mind, I love this time of year. The crisp chilly mornings, grey clouds, chilly winds and the rain on the windows. The harvest is in, Crone wondering the land.. the time of her fullness. A chance to turn inwards and reflect. *sighs*
I have no idea what winter will be here, I am very used to my seasons being clearly defined. On the West Coast it is a little different though. The winter months in this area are from June to August and are mild, with an average temperature of 18 degrees C during the day, and between 5-9 degrees C at night. I have been told that I will acclimatise and that it will seem like winter to me. We will see, I have to admit though, it rained here on Wedensday for the first time in months and the temp dropped to 20c and I had to put long sleeves on, so maybe the locals are right *smiles* and this winter loving witch will indeed learn to acclimatise..

We are having some time without the children this weekend, they are going to visit there step Nona who they have not seen in far to long. They are looking forward to it as much as we are looking forward to some adult time, so I am off to do a few domestic bits, so hopefully there will be no real to attend to chores over the next few days, but before I go, I want to share a wonderful poem that I found...

The Seasons' Dying
by Samantha Henderson
Summer dies warm in the brown arms of Fall
who lays her down easyby his cool streams,
takes the name Indian Summer and runs.
Calloused barefoot, beloved of apples and witches,
his eyes are tawny and green trees turn glorious musk at his touch.
He does not flinch when Winter slays him.
Winter, warrior,banners streaming white and blue,
dons the medieval robes of the last small Ice Age
and metes out justice.
'Til Springgrows from the foot of his throne,
twines about his limbs,and tickles him to death.
Born of melted ice and mud, weakest-seeming of the seasons,
she makes the aching buds burst.
She kisses her favorite frogs awake
who cannot save her from Queen Summer who, imperious,
passes her hand before her face,
closes her eyes with bright copper pennies,
and covers her with cloth of gold.
Summer strides, eating peaches, until weary, she faces handsome Autumn,
walks into his embrace, and lays her head down.

Happy Birthday Sarah

It was my first born babe's birthday today.. My precious daughter turned 27 although she tells me shes not counting the numbers now..lol .... I remember the lead up to and the day she was born like it was yesterday. Sarah was born 12.30pm on Friday. The Thursday I spent nesting, sitting quietly, content in a chair watching puffy white clouds float past the window on a clear blue summer sky. I ate fish with lemon and tartare sauce along with fresh slaw for dinner and shortly after I took a long bath. I felt very restless, my back felt sore and I was tired but I did not know I was or had been in labour, for I had felt no contractions...
I went to bed and slept fitfully until 4.30 am when I woke feeling like my backbone was being removed through my bellybutton.. The contractions were coming three minutes apart.. nope not 10 minutes apart like the text book had said they would, each contraction was struggled through, getting over one when the next one came.... so off to the hospital I went, silently praying my waters wouldn't break in the taxi... the minute I lay on the hospital bed they stopped..*smiling* how typical
Not for to long though, 8 hours later my beautiful, button nosed, dark haired baby girl was born. Her name was going to be Jessica, but the minute I saw her, I knew her name was to be Sarah.. Sarah Emily!
She is as beautiful now as she was then... and I thank the Goddess for blessing me with a child who grew into such a loving, thoughtful and graceful woman, who is surprisingly strong yet blessedly gentle. Who has over come many obstacles in her life and has given me some of the sweetest memories my heart has ever known....
Happy Birthday Sweetheart.. remember I above all others, love you.

Can you hear it...

Shhhhhhhhhsh.. Listen.. can you hear it? No? nor can I *smiles* isn't it grand. The house is silent, oh I have missed that.. sounds a tiny bit selfish but I do miss the quiet times, when there is no one here but me and my wee dog... It feels restful, something I have not been getting enough of, over the last month or so.
I bit the bullet yesterday and rung the Woman's Health Service and after speaking to someone for assessment they decided to see me today, so off I went to counselling.. Why? Well I do not feel I have been coping all that well over the last 18 months, starting with my surgically induced menopause (and my decision last November not to continue with HRT) ..
To be honest at times lately my self-esteem and confidence has bottomed out, I feel a little overwhelmed and angry I guess, at the fact my life as I knew it, the dreams and aspirations I/we had as a couple have had to go by the by for the next 7 or 8 years perhaps longer.. No I do not blame the children and I would have them no where else than with us.. and while I know guilt is a wasted emotion, at times that is what I feel for feeling this sense of loss when they have lost their Mum.
I was stared toward the Woman's Health Service via the Navy surprisingly, and it could not have worked out better..
This councellor asked if I blogged and this surprised me, then a lot she said really did in a good way, she suggested I share my feelings more and expressed how I felt here in a more open manner..heck I am not sure you all could handle that..lol.. But this beautiful Crone really understood, after telling me she thought that I do not give myself enough love or compassion..
replied to me when I said to her "I was looking forward to the new beginnings age brings but feel I have lost that now" her reply was "I can feel the sadness - that you feel at the thought of having been pulled back from the journey you were beginning into the Wintertime of your life and being hijacked into Motherhood again.. " when she said this I near choked. She then asked if I had a spiritual side.. when I told her that I was a Pagan and followed a Goddess path, she smiled as she cupped her own face as if it was mine and quietly told me, "Honour yourself, remember the beautiful Crone you are becoming" She told me to use it as an affirmation..and I think I might stick it on my bathroom mirror for my *fat and blah days* she did suggest I read "The woman who runs with Wolves" so that is on my to read list.
Oh Goddess, Bless this woman for her wisdom and encouragement to me this day - and I thank you for allowing her into my life this day.

Bram and Friends

I am feeling a tad shattered tonight. Today has been a day, one where my get up and go, got up and went, but without me! And I am not entirely sure why I got left behind.. however I have decided it was a good time to post some of the photos I have been asked for, those of My Green man and Woman, and a few fae folk.. I hope you enjoy..

Oh isn't she beautiful, I so love her and was excited to actually find one, I love my Greenman but she is a little special.
My handsome Greenman, who watches over my garden from his home on the wall.. we have a shortage of trees or he would be hung from one.

My wee Tommy Knocker, isn't he wonderful. Now rumour has it, these wee folk inhabited the Welsh mines, and when the child miners got frightened by the strange noises and the dark, they were told, it was nothing to fret over it was just The Tommy Knockers playing games and throwing stones. They will always keep you safe in the dark.

This is Bram a tree protecting Elf.. I haven't yet got a photo of his friend Nudd.

Here at last is Nudd... He is a sweetie.. although I wish there were established trees here for them!
Hmmmm.. Naughty gnomes, astounded frogs, lazy wee turtles... this was going to be the fairy garden, however as my yard has the four corners marked with a symbol of each element. The bird bath is now in the West quarter. This garden area as of last week, now has a dragon residing here, being that it is the direction of North (fire down here in Ozzieland)
It has sort of turned into a garden of mischief really.. perhaps if it wasn't for the dragon keeping them all in check it would indeed be a mischievous place.. I love this little area and it is a place my eye is always drawn too. It is also the only place my little Vinca flowers will grow...

I have been night stand tagged!

I was tagged by A Witches Way yesterday, in something called The Nightstand Tag

Now I have never done one of these tag things before.. so have noooooooooo idea what I am doing..lol..

What I/you do is take a photo of your nightstand *cringe* (ya'all going to see my icky lampshade), because you can't rearrange, move or make pretty for the photo, it's just as it is right this minute.. then give a little explanation on whats all there.. lastly tag at least 10 other bloggers so they can do the same thing.. not sure I know 10 bloggers but here ya go.

1- A photo of my man :-)
2- My eBay lamp one of a matching pair, cost $10.00 but I seriously don't like the shade, 'cause it's to big

3-Nellie, she is more than a little stuffed Elephant and she has been all over New Zealand and Australia, and I soooooooooooo love her!

4- The phone

5-The clock

6- Books Im reading.. To Stir A Magick Cauldron by Silver RavenWolf it was a birthday present and the other one is a little devotional book called Hope.

Okay and now I have tagged: I need to find somemore..lol
Happy Hippy Madhouse

The Heathen Sanctuary

Hedgewitch Hollow

Do you remember when.....

Well an interesting wee turn of events for me here.. As many of you know I have become the step mum to two children,one who is a 10 year old girl. *smiles* she is the little one who came out into the kitchen a few weeks back with a tiny crescent moon stuck to her forehead.. She informed me tonight that she has had two periods.. goodness I hadnt thought that would be an issue to address for a year or two.

As a girl I had my first period when I was 9 years old, and I remembered how frightened I was.. In fact I was to scared to tell anyone, I also had no mother so when I seen my first blood stained panties I was terrified and threw them in to the bushes down the back of the farm.. This is not how I want it to be for this young lass.. Hers first came at school apparently and the school sent her home.. Her mother sadly was not a great support..

With one so young, I know presently there will be no regularity to the cycle at the moment, but I want it to be a special time for her. Something I never had as a young woman...
She mentioned this evening her mother keeping her home from school because she was *sick with a tummy ache* tonight when we where talking I told her that having a period didn't mean she was sick, it meant her body was changing and that it was a special thing.. I also told her when her next period came, I would help her...
What I would really like to do is, even if it is a school day even let her stay home. And perhaps her and I together have a wee ritual and celebration. A celebration of her. I was never able to haves this for myself, nor for my own daughter who at 27 still has a *special day* for herself on the anniversary of her first menses.. If any of you have an idea how we can celebrate this, in way a girl who is just 10 going on 30 can understand, I would love to hear them...

Both my *new* children know I am a witch and are very interested, in fact the last full moon the kids, seeing me getting candles etc ready, asked what I was doing, and whn told, bought me their crystals to me, to put out under the full moon.. So I am excited to think I may have witchlings..lol.. My poor man whose children they are, burst our laughing when he saw an order I had made for a book called "Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions" ... He rubbed his hands like Golem, from Lord of the Rings.. And whispered into my ear *My precious'es*.. Bless Him!
All joking aside, I would love some ideas and guidance on this.. For a little daughter of the Goddess and a 13 year old boy, who feels to me. as old as time..

The Goddess is Alive

Moon shines down upon a sea of Light,
Shifting sands lay singing in the Heart of the Night.
I looked upon a scene that gripped me to the core,
White-clad maidens below were dancing on the shore.
Sweet sounds slipped from moon-lit throats,
Wind whipped hair abound,
Lit by the light within and without,
The Women circled 'round.
As I stood, water engulfed my feet,
My body swayed to your Heavenly Heart beat.
Wind and wave and fire light,
Paled in my mind Earthly delight.
Time slipped by me as you held your embrace,
And windblown spray covered my face.
Protected deep within your Womb,
I could feel the tender pain of Life's bloom.
Candles flared high as the Dance progressed,
Deep inside with a healing touch you blessed.
All around, wind, wave and fire shouted of your life,
Your light speared deep within, soothing my strife.
Divine Mother, Goddess of Light,
To you I come seeking protection from the night.
Come home to shelter within your arm,
Surrounded by Love, hidden from harm.
Holy Mother, Queen of Heaven and Earth, From you we all trace our Birth.
Heavenly Goddess, light from above,
Shine down upon us, we pray for your Love.

Anon

Hope

This little Koala has become the face of the fires that have swept through my home state of Victoria over the last few days... Many of you may have seen this on news clips around the world, but to me it is a cute Koala, who is hurting and turning to a human, unfortuantely to her a predator, the koala has seriously burnt paws, and reached out to the firey because his were cold and wet and were soothing to her.. Little Sam will be returned to the wild in a few months... thank the Goddess for her life..I have to admit I was surprised at how quick the video made it to You Tube..when the little video was in fact made for the fire fighters daughter to show her that not all the animals perished...

A Sad Day for Australia

While I'm not Australian born my heart breaks for the carnage in Victoria, Australia.
Australia is now my home, and Victoria is my home state and it has been for many years. We (as a nation) are all shocked and saddened by what's happening there. I am safe now on the West Coast, we moved here from *the fire area* just 12 weeks ago, so much of what has burnt is known to us, places our friends live, places we have had holiday's, built precious memories and spent family time.. The little country town Warragul where Sarah first lived after immigrating from New Zealand, only just survived due to a late wind change yesterday, her best friend has told her. Last night my fav place in Victoria where Derek and I spent many pleasant days, has lost building and one life but was for the most part spared.. I am so grateful that Healsville Wildlife Sanctuary was spared, this wildlife sanctuary stole my heart when I was there and we have the most fond memories of hugging the animals and learning how they exist in the wild.
Thank the Goddess my daughter is safe 50 to 60km away in Melbourne, I received an email from her yesterday saying, she was just leaving to go to the red cross to give blood, her boss who is a Red Cross member has just left work to go into the fire zone.
One of the main fire zones is not to far from where we lived, it is horrific. Last year there were huge bush fires, the smoke blanketed us for weeks, we couldn't open windows or doors, hang out laundry and those with respiratory ailments had no relief depending on the wind direction, but this is different, much closer to home. This country is dry and vast, often drought stricken Victoria has been suffering drought for near 12 years now and it along with New South Wales is very, very prone to this *bush fire season* sadly more than half are lit deliberately and presently the Government is trying to change legislation, to charge the arsonists with murder! For as I type the death toll has tonight to close to 200 hundred people.
While the loss is huge there is a tiny wee spark of renewal in it all, since this country is a harsh land much of the bush and forest has learnt to adapt and overcome such fires., most of the native trees here need hot fires to rejuvenate. The seed pods do not germinate except under ferocious heat to crack the seed pods... so for so many plants, no fire no life. It can be hard to understand at times.
Do please keep Victoria *The Garden State* in your thoughts, also the families who still can not find their loved ones, the policem, firefighters, Red Cross and volunteers who are working around the clock to get this all under control.. The fire is burning maybe 70km from where we ussed to live, we still have friends there. Yes it is heartbreaking, yet this is a strong nation and I am sure the *can do* attitude will overcome..but it is still a country who could use your support and prayers.
Blessed Be

A School Mum

It was many, many moons ago that I first took my kids to school... they started at 12 and 13. Since they were home schooled they missed the Primary school days. I was as nervous at the thought of putting them into the public school system as I was dropping them off that first day, they were ready for it and pleased to be going, it was just their mother fretting over them being OK, *laughing* it soon passed though, and it became a quick *SEE YA* as they bolted out the door.. So this morning when I went through all that again I was sort of surprised, I thought that whole *new school - first day thing* only happened once, then you were a seasoned school mum.. ha ha oh was I wrong.. I so forgot what it was like -

While Courtney was really upset and in need of lots of reassurance and hugs last night, she was so cool about it all this morning, when I came to the kitchen to get coffee and lunches made before getting them up for their first day back at school since their Mum died and at a new school as well, there she was all dressed in her uniform, sitting eating the cereal she had fixed for herself bossing her older brother to hurry up, she was as happy as a duck in water. It was like 7.15 and she doesn't start class till 9am..

It was actually me who was a wreck. Did she have everything? Could she remember our phone number and our address. Would she cope knowing no one. Did she remember where I was picking her up from, gosh it was endless.. she was totally oblivious to my concerns... I could hardly get her to stand still for the photos. Her brother was far less enthusiastic, defineite guy thing, I think. Her first day was a success, she had an awesome time and was so happy when I finally got to pick her up this afternoon... I tell you what though, Oh my Goddess, some of those school parents in cars picking up their kids, how do people cope with them? Talk about Mummy road rage..my normal layed back tranquill self developed stress levels that went from 0 to 90 in about .99 of a second..
I think once the weather cools down, I am going to walk her to and from school till she can ride her bike.. far less stress and much better for the soul..

Lammas/Imbolc

Firstly may all in the Northern Hemishpere have a Blessed Imbolc.. and to those down here, a Blessed Lammas.

The best layed plans went skew whiff with any plans I had to celebrate Lammas.. It s I would have felt worse about it had I not had taken to heart what was told me by one of my blog followers.. So on my altar today there sits an apple, some oats and an orange candle..and in my heart and spirit the knowledge from a wise woman - thank you Sarah again *smiles*