I have almost been in hibernation over the last 3 weeks, well at least since my last post... Things have been challenging here with a few issues surrounding family and the children that have needed looking at.. Some of it has been so emotionally draining for both myself and my man.. we wonder how on earth we have been making it through.. It at times has left me feeling melancholy with no energy left for my blog .. it has had me struggling with my spiritual walk as well.. It is almost like there is no energy left for that either, which made me feel a little sad..
I really think the Goddess knows that we are working towards "cutting out the dead wood" in our lives so to speak, so we can make a safer and happier family, it is a painful process of realization, acceptance, anger really a whole gamut of emotions. It is funny how we/I get little messages of reassurance when I am beating myself up over various things like not having emotional energy to even light a candle.
Last night I came online to check my email, and there was a newsletter there with an article - Sustaining Growth: for solitary and all other seekers by Judy Harrow, HPs (Proteus Coven) - it suggested we take care of our secular lives first. She wrote "Abraham Maslow, the father of humanistic psychology, described a hierarchy of human needs. According to his theory, higher needs emerge only after the more basic ones are satisfied." and I think this is what I have been doing.. taking care of business and in doing so I think I have been walking the path the Goddess would have us take in this...
On a real upside my man and I have finally picked our wedding date.. Saturday, September the 19th, I didn't know when we picked the date, that it is a Dark Moon and while I was a bit iffy about that, I sort of thought that a Dark moon is a time of reflection, and the start of new beginnings I do not think it is a negative time of the lunar cycle. We have spoken to a couple of Pagan marriage celebrants who are able to make it a subtle pagan ceremony.
I really think the Goddess knows that we are working towards "cutting out the dead wood" in our lives so to speak, so we can make a safer and happier family, it is a painful process of realization, acceptance, anger really a whole gamut of emotions. It is funny how we/I get little messages of reassurance when I am beating myself up over various things like not having emotional energy to even light a candle.
Last night I came online to check my email, and there was a newsletter there with an article - Sustaining Growth: for solitary and all other seekers by Judy Harrow, HPs (Proteus Coven) - it suggested we take care of our secular lives first. She wrote "Abraham Maslow, the father of humanistic psychology, described a hierarchy of human needs. According to his theory, higher needs emerge only after the more basic ones are satisfied." and I think this is what I have been doing.. taking care of business and in doing so I think I have been walking the path the Goddess would have us take in this...
On a real upside my man and I have finally picked our wedding date.. Saturday, September the 19th, I didn't know when we picked the date, that it is a Dark Moon and while I was a bit iffy about that, I sort of thought that a Dark moon is a time of reflection, and the start of new beginnings I do not think it is a negative time of the lunar cycle. We have spoken to a couple of Pagan marriage celebrants who are able to make it a subtle pagan ceremony.
So apart from all the *emotional branch cutting* I also made some great sourdough bread...
I hadn't forgotten I promised to keep you updated on that..
The kids started calling it the 'mutant dough' however after the first taste it became 'great bread' *smiles* and that does my heart good, to know that the goodness of the grain along with the love and energy I put into making it, was well received by those it was meant for. Here are some photos.
Mutant dough and the finished loaf:
I hadn't forgotten I promised to keep you updated on that..
The kids started calling it the 'mutant dough' however after the first taste it became 'great bread' *smiles* and that does my heart good, to know that the goodness of the grain along with the love and energy I put into making it, was well received by those it was meant for. Here are some photos.
Mutant dough and the finished loaf:
4 OF YOU SAID:
your bread looks scrummy!
Sorry to hear that you've been dealing with difficulties. Sounds stressful. Take care of yourself.
On the upside - a wedding is beautiful, exciting thing to be planning! Congrats!
I was born at the very darkest point during the dark of the moon. It's the holding still, possibility and creative energy about to be birthed.
Er...I don't mean me, obviously. But I love that time of stillness and peace and potential. If it feels right for you, why not?
Glad to see you back and gently dealing with all the challenges that our mother sets for us. I do believe that she never sets us tasks that we can't achieve but on the other hand there's very little point in facing challenges that aren't in fact challenging is there? I try and remind myself of this when i am feeling like running away/ hiding under the duvet, whichever escape plan seems easiest at the time!
I really admire the way that you've faced the most difficult of situations head on. It's only 5 months ago that these young people lost their mam, no time at all really, yet they're coming on in leaps and bounds. It's taken their entire lifetime to become who they are today, it will take much longer than 5 months for them to adapt to such a different lifestyle. I'm sure the dynamics of your family are completely different to their previous experiences, i'm also sure that with the help of you, their father and everyone else involved in their upbringing they will prove themselves more than capable of rising to any challenge that gets thrown at them. Even if all of this had never happened they would still be going through a hard time with puberty and all the teen angst they could muster let alone all the other horrors that they've endured recently. Give yourself a pat on the back, you're doing a great job!
Congratulations on setting your wedding day, will you be handfasting alongside taking part in a civil ceremony? I'm sure everthing will go well for you, you certainly deserve it too. Also, kudos on the sourdough bread, it looks yummy! I've started making my own bread this year, it's such a satisfying feeling, seeing your loved ones devouring that which you've created with your own two hands isn't it. I don't know why baking your own bread feels different to all the other meals that we create from scratch but it is really satisfying none the less. You are a strong compassionate daughter of the earth and are blessed with everyithing needed to turn a bad situation right the way around. I look forward to sharing this journey with you, here on these pages that change little bits of electricity into friends we've never met who live so far away, the world has truly become our backgarden and any time you want to 'pop round' for tea and a chat then you're more than welcome :-). Brightest blessings to you and yours, Namaste xXx
Sorry you are going through a difficult time.
((hugs))
Hope everything turns around.
Congrats on the wedding plans!
And your bread looks delish!
Sorry you've been going through a rough spell. {{{ }}}
Congrats on picking your wedding date!!
Blessings
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