Imagine...

A Saturday evening, Miss 12 is at a sleep over, Mister 14.9 laying on the couch eating Maltezers,  the husband and I sipping a quiet 'refreshment' still feeling a bit flat about oldest son having left to live in another country - all three settling in to watching Jackie Chans latest movie when the most awful caterwauling starts... "Robert did you lock the cat outside"?  no the door is open... with much rattling and the sound of cat claws up security screens.. "Robert are you sure you didn't you lock the cat out" no the door is open.... at this stage husband gets up as the caterwauling gets louder, increasing in pitch and tempo... "Bloody cat" - scratch, clatter, MEOOOOOOOOOOOOW, YEEEEEEOW bang., rattle "Awwww Bloody cat" now at this stage I am getting concerned.. so out I toddle to see what on earth the cat and my husband are doing to disrupt the tranquilly of our evening... .
Well, the door was open and cat and husband was no where to be seen - something catches my eye and as I turn to see, my mouth drops open and I can hardly believe what I see...
One cat, clinging at roof height to the kitchen window security screen, one husband with hands around cat ( I wonder if he is the reason cat is sounding like a strangled bag pipe)  frantically trying g to yank said insane, screaming cat of the security screen - all the while in the background there is a jet of water shooting 15 feet into the air... on seeing me husband starts yelling turn the sprinklers off.. "I don't know how"   **^#(@)$&  insert expletive husband disappears, I run through the internal door to garage, throw up roller door to continue cat rescue, cat hurls herself onto the path and disappears.. I run back the way I came to catch scared, wet cat in a towel.. Husband, soaked to the skin, walks in to hear myself and Mister 14.9 coooing and comforting  (poor kitty) who is now purring happily.... muttering "oh yea that's right poor cat, I near broke me toe kicking the sprinkler pipe rescuing your damn cat " and in his Lordships words "Bloody cat didn't get a reticulation enema, did she"