Have you ever....

Another week gone and no posts from me.. the family have all had headcolds, and hopefully Master R the last one to get it is on the mend, I have just packed him off to bed early...
I really want to take a minute to thank each of you who have taken the time to post a comment of support.. it means so very much to me.. Sarah(Hippy mum) you bought a tear to my eye, thank you so much sister.. I have in fact lost your home email adress.. if you could email me at bypass.urban@gmail.com I would love to contact you...
There is a huge ammount of thunder and lightening about.. so I am going to turn the PC off, but before I go I wanted to share something I found today, and I think many of us can relate to this...
Blessings to you all, I am going to sit on my back patio and watch the lightening across a Wester Australian night sky.

Have you ever...
By Emily Rose Matthews
The Temple of Cybele - June 2009 Newsletter
You ask me, "Why are you a Pagan? What do you mean, you worship nature?"
Have you ever... climbed a mountain ?
Stood at the precipitous edge and gazed out at the valley far below; Watched an eagle or a hawk, fly and navigate the winds as he swooped and dived in an aerial dance of pure living; Saw the incredible beauty of the world laid beneath your feet; Or marvelled at the artwork in a rocky formation of enormous proportions?
Have you ever... swam in the ocean?
Let the currents of waves generated hundreds of miles away carry you; Tried to follow a school of fish, or a single crab, as they scattered about looking for food amongst their own private underwater garden; Gazed in awe at the wondrous colors in a totally alien world within our own; Or sat on a beach and gazed at the sunset over the water, feeling totally at peace?
Have you ever... walked in a forest?
Wondered at the tallness of the trees, considering their age, numbers and variety; Watched the multitude of life-forms, from a nest of baby birds to a colony of ants working diligently to maintain their own little world; Felt joy at seeing the new spring leaves, or melancholy at them falling in autumn; Or enjoyed the feeling of solitude, yet sometimes wondering if you are being watched?
Have you ever... looked at the stars ?
Sought to find the pictures of ancient constellations in the different patterns; Tried in vain to count them, and feeling small, yet somehow kind of special in the overall scheme of things, having been born at all ? Experienced the excitement of spotting a shooting star, or the northern lights; Or wondered, with all those stars, and all those worlds, if we are alone or not?
You ask me, "Why are you a Pagan? What do you mean, you worship nature?"
If you have done any of these things and can still ask, you'd never understand the answer.

Secular Life...

I have almost been in hibernation over the last 3 weeks, well at least since my last post... Things have been challenging here with a few issues surrounding family and the children that have needed looking at.. Some of it has been so emotionally draining for both myself and my man.. we wonder how on earth we have been making it through.. It at times has left me feeling melancholy with no energy left for my blog .. it has had me struggling with my spiritual walk as well.. It is almost like there is no energy left for that either, which made me feel a little sad..
I really think the Goddess knows that we are working towards "cutting out the dead wood" in our lives so to speak, so we can make a safer and happier family, it is a painful process of realization, acceptance, anger really a whole gamut of emotions. It is funny how we/I get little messages of reassurance when I am beating myself up over various things like not having emotional energy to even light a candle.
Last night I came online to check my email, and there was a newsletter there with an article - Sustaining Growth: for solitary and all other seekers by Judy Harrow, HPs (Proteus Coven) - it suggested we take care of our secular lives first. She wrote "Abraham Maslow, the father of humanistic psychology, described a hierarchy of human needs. According to his theory, higher needs emerge only after the more basic ones are satisfied." and I think this is what I have been doing.. taking care of business and in doing so I think I have been walking the path the Goddess would have us take in this...

On a real upside my man and I have finally picked our wedding date.. Saturday, September the 19th, I didn't know when we picked the date, that it is a Dark Moon and while I was a bit iffy about that, I sort of thought that a Dark moon is a time of reflection, and the start of new beginnings I do not think it is a negative time of the lunar cycle. We have spoken to a couple of Pagan marriage celebrants who are able to make it a subtle pagan ceremony.

So apart from all the *emotional branch cutting* I also made some great sourdough bread...
I hadn't forgotten I promised to keep you updated on that..
The kids started calling it the 'mutant dough' however after the first taste it became 'great bread' *smiles* and that does my heart good, to know that the goodness of the grain along with the love and energy I put into making it, was well received by those it was meant for. Here are some photos.
Mutant dough and the finished loaf:

Hubble Bubble

What a incredibly busy few weeks..thank the Goddess - sighs, the house is quiet today - and also back in order after having the kids home for school holidays, sadly Sarah has also returned to Melbourne and having her not here, always leaves a bit of an emotional gap for me.. So over the last four days, there has been catching up on those things that just don't seem to get managed when there are extra people in the house everyday. Apart from a few veg seedlings needing to be planted and 5 kilos of tomatoes waiting to be made into soup and frozen all is quiet in my corner of the world. Although today we have had to call in a repair man for the deep freeze. It packed a sad yesterday (just as well the tomatoes are not yet soup) and decided it would be selective on what it kept frozen!
I had to toss most porous things as well as a few frozen veg that couldn't be consumed easily.. I have managed to salvage most things into a small freezer space until Monday when the parts are in, as much as a pain as it is, getting it repaired is far cheaper than a new freezer! I wonder if Samhain yesterday had anything to do with the fridges new selective freezing patterns..*smiling*

The plumber finally arrived as well, and now the kids don't run out of the bathroom screaming the toilet bowl water is bubbling.. Considering the gremlins in the bathroom/laundry plumbing and the resulting mess out the back door, one would think that I would be over the fixation with all things brewing, bubbly and fermenting - however over the last few weeks I have become slightly obsessed with making Sourdough bread.. The first few 'starters' where a no go, infact the icky messes were banished in case I poisoned the family (wonders if this is what blocked the toilet- ok now I am really laughing at that thought) then after a bit more research, I realised I was starving my wee pet.. So after wasting a few jars of the flour and water brew I hit on the combination.. she hopes.. feed it more and feed it high protein flour.. it seems it likes the rye flour a bit better.. more natural goodies for my wild yeast babies to fed upon it seems.
I am almost convinced now though, the family think I have turned into a mad woman, as every morning I race down the hall into the kitchen with Mister P and Dim Sim in hot pursuit just so I can peer into a jar of flour and water, while cooing and coaxing it to froth. Tah Dar -
Today I have been rewarded with the perfect bubbly, yeasty, slightly sour smelling jar of goodness -
At 7 am this morning, everyone circled round watching with wide eyed fasination as this pajama clad, mad woman with hair all askew, mixed up the first *sponge* like some possessed scientist.. The sponge which is really just a bowl of warm fermenting flour batter, should treble in size over the next 12 hours.. there are a few more steps as yet but the Goddess willing this will turn out to be my first ever loaf of Sourdough bread. I will keep you updated on it's progress...

On closing todays post..a total digression here... last week I thought Miss C was being unusually quiet and no where to be found when she was needed to set the dinner table. I knew Sarah was in the bathroom braiding her hair - I should have guessed Miss C would have been in there too... this is what I found when I opened the bathroom door, Sarah braiding away and Miss C happily reading in her new nest!

Welll Geeeeeeze

I am connected to the net..even if it is by about 30 feet of extension cable, running down halls, around corners and across rooms because for reasons only known to the computer, our cordless modem will not stay connected - however that is a small thing compared to the plumbing problem we developed in the middle of a public holiday weekend, where toilet icky blahs and laundry waste water are making there own personal form of toxic soup outside the laundry door! annnnnnnnnd if the plumber who was meant to come this morning, who is now coming tomorrow doesn't show up at said time, I will hunt him down, then drag him here kicking and screaming, by his important little boy places *insert sadist smile* to fix my gurgling drains anddddddddddddd Goddess Bless the cruel and unusual person who invented teacher only days... the day after the school holidays ended, the day the kids were meant to go back to school, but didn't andddddddd for those of you who are wondering, yes they were about to walk out the door to school, when I noticed some tiny, weeny, minuscule print on a book stating.. term commences tomorrow. Well that really screwed my happiness ... in time I am sure I will get this step mother thing sussed.. Heck with a whole day ahead... it can only get better... in the mean time I am going to find a quiet corner and rock..

Lest We Forget

On this day, in the darkness, before dawn, the ANZAC's stormed ashore in a place now known as ANZAC cove. ANZAC DAY is not to glorify war or praise heroes, but to remember those who have served our country during times of conflict and crisis, and to reflect upon their selfless sacrifice. Today we as a family, along with thousands of other Australians and New Zealanders took time to remember our country men who did not return from service. Over a spam of 8 months, a total 36,000 Australian and New Zealand soldiers were killed or wounded at Gallipoli in 1915.
Today for me it is a time reflection also, to those men and woman in our Armed Services who have and still are serving abroad. As the partner of a man who has over the last decade seen several tours of duty, I give heartfelt thanks to the Goddess for returning him to me and for making him the man he is, with his dedication to us and to serve his country.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

Just rambling

Well. the computer is up and running, it is minus a few of my graphic programmes, but they can wait for the time being!
It has been a very long ten days, and to be honest I do not feel I have coped well. Merging two families into one, is not an easy task, and at times over the last week or so I have felt almost torn in two... the Goddess only knows how others, before me have coped doing the same thing! As a kid I thought the Brady Bunch was sooooooooo cool, oh the brain washing of the television..haha
This last week my man has had the week on leave from the Navy, so we have taken Sarah to a few places she wanted to visit.. the younger children's maternal Nana has had another fall and is in hospital with a seriously broken shoulder.. after two surgeries in as many days, seems to be picking up some but the little ones have been fretting about her well being..
Sarah leaves for Melbourne on Sunday, and I feel I have not really had any time with her, well not like we have been used too. Once she would have had my undivided attention so to speak but not so now, my attention is shared. Something even at her age has felt a little odd.. This has left me feeling a little guilty from time to time.. But to spite the sometime feelings of inadequacy, it has been nice knowing she was around even if we did not have the time we had been used to in the past...
There is much more to share in here but I am lacking in time and at 10 pm I am feeling the need to seek the comfort of my bed, so will share more in the next day or so...
Tomorrow, we are heading of to the Malagua Markets and on Saturday we will be busy, as it is ANZAC Day here, a little like Remembrance Day for those of you in the US and as a Navy family we attend a Dawn Remembrance service. D also has to March out later in the morning, with one of three Platoons from HMAS Stirling, the children and I will also attend the Memorial Service with him that follows and then have lunch with the Diggers ( WW2 Returned Servicemen) and present day service personal. Soooooooo maybe on Monday things will settle to a normal buzzz around here and my routine (which I so miss) will be back to normal.....
Bright Blessings

Technical glitch n stuff

It has been a busy week, with Sarah arriving from Melbourne, the kids on school holidays and in the midst of this... our faithful computer whirred to a whinney end! We have managed a temporary Internet connection on an old computer that found it's way here from the kids old house... It's pretty clapped out and molasses in winter time runs faster, but at least it has let me connect to this even for a few minutes.
We have an IT repairman coming later this afternoon sooooooooooo all things being equal, he may be able to fix it, we are leaning towards the CPU having passed onto the great Technograve. I am a bit of a stickler for backing up things, so most of what I hoard is on two external drives... fingers crossed we will all be running to plan very shortly... Bright Blessings