Happy BIrthday son

Happy birthday son, 26 years old today. You are my second born, and you will always be my baby so to speak. When you're 65 and I am getting around with my besom tied to my zimmerframe you will still be my baby.. I don't know why it is like that with mothers and their sons, or maybe it is just me with you, because of your rocky start in life.. a bit like your own son's really, except you were not premature like him... you clicked when you breathed and while it seemed somewhat cute at the start, it hid something a little more sinister - had your wee kidneys not decided to malfunction the day after you were born, we more than likely would never have found the tumor in your nasal cavity that was quietly reaching for your brain.. they found the tumour the day your kidneys kicked back in 48 hours later.. fate maybe?
I knew the night you where conceived you were going to be a boy.. I enjoyed every minute of my pregnancy with you.. although I was impatient to met you. You where 9lb 4.oz
yet your birth was so easy, no medication, no pain relief, each contraction welcomed as I stood leaning against the wall.. You lay content suckling my breast, even before the physical cord that bound you to me was cut..
Your little nasal airways blocked by the tumor, you couldn't breath well laying down and you gasped for breath so often during those first 8 weeks, so I sat up nursing you through the long autumn nights, holding you, your tiny face buried into my neck, so many nights until you were old enough for your micro surgery. I do know that they were precious times that you and I spent together and I believe we formed a very special bond. By the time your first birthday you where a happy bouncy boy, who was happily pushed and pulled about by your sister, even though there was a scant 13 months between you.
Life was not always easy for us, but we got there.. You said to me the day Courtney and Roberts Mum died.. "Your strong and your a survivor Mum, if anyone can get through this, and get them through this, you can"
Although I shouldn't be, I am pleasantly surprised by your emotional depth. You have always been one to survey the world, and quietly take it all in, often saying little, but when you do it is worth saying.
I am so proud of you, for all you have overcome, for the things you have quietly learnt, for the wisdom, patience, tolerance and love you were and are still able to give to your family.
For the strength you have dug deep to find and have shown, to your wife and son with both of them having been both so very sick over the last 7 months.. you have shown those who doubted your ability to maintain your marriage, fatherhood while coping with your sons illness, and still worked full time in a high risk job.. Not only have you done all of this, but you have done it with integrity.
I thank the Goddess for bringing you into my life and I thank her that you were not taken from us in that first few months.. I look at you with the love and pride only a mother can have.. you have given me some of the most amazing memories I have known, and remember son, I above all others, love you.

Potting and Cleaning

I am seriously exhausted tonight, it is 8.30 and I am ready for my bed.. I think a few late nights have caught up and slapped me, not to mention a hard core morning in the garden, getting the rest of my lettuce, Swiss Chard, and flower plants in and a few house plants potted before the full moon.
The moon was full here today at 11.37am, so I wanted to get it all finished - then I found a * rabbit food and straw every blimmin' everwhere* catastrophe in the garage, which I got into a tizzy over and ended up cleaning out the whole garage.. I have never worked out how that happens!
The Garden looks great, the moon looks absolutely amazing this evening and I am happy to wait a day or two and get in some root veges..
A little something arrived in the email the other day that just tickled me to bits, not to mention surprised the daylights out of me,.. My son's mother in law sent me a photo of his new past time ... I was so blessed to see him like this, so thought I would share it with you... He did mention it, but not in the depth she explained, he has a little hot house, grows everything from seed, has pumpkins taking over the paths.. boy after me own heart..lol

Have you popped over to The Witches Kitchen? It is my other blog.. have a peek and maybe tomorrow I will be concious enough to write a half decent blog.

Barbies birthday and surprises for me

I really do not like Barbie.. never have and doubt I ever will.. and I never even wanted one when I was a little girl .. it came up tonight at dinner, her birthday is today and Courtney screwed her face up and said "who cares about a dolls birthday" well after a brief little discussion on how long this doll had been filling our heads with commercial idealism, along with Bratz and then me being questioned on what I played with in the olden days *rolls eyes* Robert popped out with, Did I know the song Barbie Girl by Aqua.. I thought "oh no, I am being punished for something" as he started to sing " I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world" ...not exactly a tune to stimulate the appetite, however I had to admit that yes, I did know it. He went on to mention it stuck in his head today after the bus driver played it on the TV.. ok stop.. rewind. The bus driver played it on the TV?
Okay, I think I must have missed something, in the years that have passed since I last raised a teenage boy... I asked in all sincerity "You have a TV on your bus?" Did you know they have television on school buses?
Not only do they have TV, they have Foxtel... I mean have you heard of such a thing, I was shocked and amazed..lol
A number of things when through my mind, who polices whats get watched? Are they just electronic teenage pacifiers?
Tonight I am feeling archaic - kids today have TV on the school bus, what ever happened to tree forts, and sling shots and *Brushy* my wee horse, you know the one - the wonderful little upside down broom who carreed me up hill and down dale.. and through many battles... *sigh* oh how things have changed.

Safe Journey Crystal

My older half sister passed tonight - at 10.05pm, 7th March New Zealand time..She was 62.
It has been 23 years since I last saw her or spoke with her. We were sitting together on my lounge room floor discussing my fathers funeral. Her passing, it is not a good thing nor a bad thing for me, it is just a sad thing, that is... Later perhaps I will feel different.. ...I have lit incense and candles, they are burning on my altar for her, along side photos I have placed there..
I have asked Hecate to guide her safely through the veil and to the next phase, that is hers..... Safe journey Crystal and Blessed Be.

-------

I am the chilly breath in the long night
That sweeps through the air
I am spirit - I am life
I am death
I am one with earth
I am one with the universe
I am one with the Goddess
I am Magick
I walk between the worlds
Nothing is impossible for me
I am a priestess,
I am a witch,
I am

~

Author Unknown

Look what I did

Wow, I have had a long weekend without the kids, and I am more exhausted now than before.. I am not sure if that's because I started Tarot classes this morning, they are 3 hour classes over 8 weeks, or because today for the first time in way to long, I went out in to the gym we have in the garage and cranked my cardio vascular system to above dormant - followed by lifting some weights!
I can hardly believe my lack of cardio fitness considering a couple of years ago, I was working as the Manager of woman's gym, I ran 5km a day then cycled another 20 before lifting weights and yes, all in one day, 6 days a week..lol..
Tonight however, I freaking near spat out my lungs after 30 minutes on the treadmill and with 15 on the Eliptical, followed by an at some free weights.... tomorrow I am sure I will be whimpering.. It has got to be good for me, all joking aside I know in my heart by increasing my physical activity and building some muscle mass it will again help in strengthen my bones and ligaments that are feeling the effects of the Rheumatoid arthritis which has reared its ugly wee head over the last several weeks, it has been laying idle for such a long time too. Got to love stress for jabbing the immune system with the big sharp " haha take that stick"

However, I do digress..... on Saturday we went to this little town on the Western Australia coast called Bunbury about 2 hours from where we live. On arriving we headed straight to a little tattoo shop, called Southwest Tattoos where I met a neat guy called Dennis, who I think was French, but that doesn't matter really.. what does was the fact he could fit me in, for a tattoo I have waited the longest time to get..
I have numerous tattoo's as some of you may or may not know.. some I regret most I do not, however I have wanted a tattoo that shows my commitment to the Goddess and the circular life I am trying to lead, an outward sign of an inward conviction so to speak.. soooooo Dennis was able to place this small but significant symbol on my wrist. I love it... so simple but to me it speaks volumes.. it will fade just a little over the next week or two, to subtle colours.. I have been thinking in fact to have a tiny goddess type figure placed underneath with her arms up supporting the moon, we will see but for know.. I am happy with this.

Shifting Seasons

I am still adjusting to life in the suburbs again, after living the last three years in semi rural Victoria.. where the only light that came in to our bedroom through the window was either the wonderful illuminating light of the full Moon or the golden rays of Dawn creeping in. Here though in addition is street lighting and on occasion the neighbours security lights or porch lights.. as well as the distant traffic noise from the main highway. I am learning to mentally lock them out... I often lay and watch the sunrise through a gap in the blind.. how it spreads golden across the sky and then sneaks in and across our bedroom wall...
However, this morning I was snuggled up to my man and I said to him, it's getting darker in the mornings isn't it.. and he agreed it was, and also last night was the first night we slept with more over us than a sheet... it is a few days left of the month and thus summer is coming to an end and autumn will be here. Bringing with it the days shorter and nights growing longer.
I do not mind, I love this time of year. The crisp chilly mornings, grey clouds, chilly winds and the rain on the windows. The harvest is in, Crone wondering the land.. the time of her fullness. A chance to turn inwards and reflect. *sighs*
I have no idea what winter will be here, I am very used to my seasons being clearly defined. On the West Coast it is a little different though. The winter months in this area are from June to August and are mild, with an average temperature of 18 degrees C during the day, and between 5-9 degrees C at night. I have been told that I will acclimatise and that it will seem like winter to me. We will see, I have to admit though, it rained here on Wedensday for the first time in months and the temp dropped to 20c and I had to put long sleeves on, so maybe the locals are right *smiles* and this winter loving witch will indeed learn to acclimatise..

We are having some time without the children this weekend, they are going to visit there step Nona who they have not seen in far to long. They are looking forward to it as much as we are looking forward to some adult time, so I am off to do a few domestic bits, so hopefully there will be no real to attend to chores over the next few days, but before I go, I want to share a wonderful poem that I found...

The Seasons' Dying
by Samantha Henderson
Summer dies warm in the brown arms of Fall
who lays her down easyby his cool streams,
takes the name Indian Summer and runs.
Calloused barefoot, beloved of apples and witches,
his eyes are tawny and green trees turn glorious musk at his touch.
He does not flinch when Winter slays him.
Winter, warrior,banners streaming white and blue,
dons the medieval robes of the last small Ice Age
and metes out justice.
'Til Springgrows from the foot of his throne,
twines about his limbs,and tickles him to death.
Born of melted ice and mud, weakest-seeming of the seasons,
she makes the aching buds burst.
She kisses her favorite frogs awake
who cannot save her from Queen Summer who, imperious,
passes her hand before her face,
closes her eyes with bright copper pennies,
and covers her with cloth of gold.
Summer strides, eating peaches, until weary, she faces handsome Autumn,
walks into his embrace, and lays her head down.

Happy Birthday Sarah

It was my first born babe's birthday today.. My precious daughter turned 27 although she tells me shes not counting the numbers now..lol .... I remember the lead up to and the day she was born like it was yesterday. Sarah was born 12.30pm on Friday. The Thursday I spent nesting, sitting quietly, content in a chair watching puffy white clouds float past the window on a clear blue summer sky. I ate fish with lemon and tartare sauce along with fresh slaw for dinner and shortly after I took a long bath. I felt very restless, my back felt sore and I was tired but I did not know I was or had been in labour, for I had felt no contractions...
I went to bed and slept fitfully until 4.30 am when I woke feeling like my backbone was being removed through my bellybutton.. The contractions were coming three minutes apart.. nope not 10 minutes apart like the text book had said they would, each contraction was struggled through, getting over one when the next one came.... so off to the hospital I went, silently praying my waters wouldn't break in the taxi... the minute I lay on the hospital bed they stopped..*smiling* how typical
Not for to long though, 8 hours later my beautiful, button nosed, dark haired baby girl was born. Her name was going to be Jessica, but the minute I saw her, I knew her name was to be Sarah.. Sarah Emily!
She is as beautiful now as she was then... and I thank the Goddess for blessing me with a child who grew into such a loving, thoughtful and graceful woman, who is surprisingly strong yet blessedly gentle. Who has over come many obstacles in her life and has given me some of the sweetest memories my heart has ever known....
Happy Birthday Sweetheart.. remember I above all others, love you.